Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Brought to you by the Yummy Gorgon Snack Food Company

As a clone, your genetic material is versatile enough to make biological upgrades fun and easy! Insert credits and let's get started.
-instruction panel, Chemi-Cola vending machine.

Chemi-Cola is a DNA-enhancing snack drink made by the Yummy Gorgon Snack Food Company, a subsidiary of Alamo Industries. The drink is effervescent, refreshing, and mutation inducing. It comes in ten flavors, all of which are quite popular among blue-collar clones. The effects of a ten-ounce last 1d6 turns.

Let's see what's on the menu:

Tri-clops: A third eye sprouts from the forehead, providing 60’ Infravision.

Extra arm: Allows an additional attack every 1.5 rounds.

Digestive upgrade: Any organic matter (including corpses) can be safely consumed. Also provides a +2 bonus vs. Poison.

Emergency Cardiac System: An additional heart grows inside your bod. If you’re reduced to zero hitpoints while this chemical is in effect, your backup heart comes online for 1d6 emergency hit points.

Chest Face: Your head collapses into your bod. Meanwhile you grow a giant face across your chest, preventing most decapitation situations.

Clobberin’ Time: Your skin hardens into calcified dermal plates. +2 to AC, -2 to DEX.

Iron Lung: You can close your lungs against vacuum or toxic atmos. You only need to breath once per turn as long as you don’t speak.

Barf Bag: Allows you to projective vomit 1d3 times. The ten foot, cone-shaped blast has the same attack properties as Green Slime.

Brutal Sex Organ: What it says on the can. No mechanical effect. More of a role playing thing, I guess.

Rubber Neck: Your bod becomes stretchy and pliant, and you can squeeze through tiny spaces as if you were 1/4th your body size.

Note: repeated exposure to Chemi-Cola is known to produce addiction, insanity, and permanent mutation. Please drink responsibly. Not suitable for children under 3.

Monday, March 4, 2013

The Tears of a Clone

Vat Goon
Requirements: INT and CHA cannot exceed 10
Prime requisite: STR
Hit Die: 1d8

Welcome! You and your vat brothers are the property of Alamo Industries, Inc. Our award winning proprietary genetic recipe, as well as this brief training video, will prepare YOU for an exciting career of hard labor under harsh planetary conditions. We’ve also supplied you with a diminished prefrontal cortex to relieve you of complex burdens such as moral decision-making or feelings of existential worry. Happy birthday!

-orientation video, Alamo Industries.

Vat clones (often called Goons) fight and save as Fighting Men. They have large simian frames and sloping foreheads. Their dense musculature and heavy skeletal frames give them a +1 bonus to unarmed combat.

Goons are always male, and are decanted in groups of nine. They are bred for unfailing loyalty to their corporate sponsors, but recent events (i.e. a full-scale galactic apocalypse) leaves them without purpose. Thus, many take up the adventurer lifestyle either out of boredom or the need to pay for chems.

Cloning is expensive, thus the corporations responsible for their production usually install a recovery protocol in their DNA hack. Any time a Goon PC is killed, the nearest clone brother will be alerted to take his place and carry out any remaining assignment. The new clone is telepathically alerted to the location of the corpse and will show up by the next game session.

When the new clone arrives, randomly choose an attribute (using a d6) and reroll it. If you end up breaking the INT or CHA requirements, your new clone is free to choose another career path like Science Priest or whatever.