tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54695639785510697982024-03-10T00:26:47.123-08:00GIANT EVIL WIZARDAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-72423028191253464442016-02-23T10:22:00.000-08:002016-02-23T17:33:03.526-08:00The Beast of Beverly Hills<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I am currently
sitting in room 231 of The Avalon Hotel in Beverly Hills, drinking black coffee, contemplating a nightmare. It must be a nightmare. I can not call it a memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5a-hess1q7QyhczFlO8jXhPIWH0ars3EvRL74iZeX5akKT-YN-YDfhl9FjbYBb28vyt2HDtZfraoKCocMhifVIZVPF5jwS17gzoYodMdhM6u3Vqp4bcsGnlka6RuCvDbhzmIzL_Xk4w/s1600/ScreenCap018.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5a-hess1q7QyhczFlO8jXhPIWH0ars3EvRL74iZeX5akKT-YN-YDfhl9FjbYBb28vyt2HDtZfraoKCocMhifVIZVPF5jwS17gzoYodMdhM6u3Vqp4bcsGnlka6RuCvDbhzmIzL_Xk4w/s320/ScreenCap018.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><i>It has a different name now.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">For two nights I
have slept here. I must have slept, though the bed is still made and the mint
lies uneaten on the pillow. I tried to go for a walk this morning, but the
corridors confounded me and turned me back to my room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Marilyn lived here.
She got out, for a time, but her suicide tells me she never really left. She
carried these corridors with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBgXrxR34CIqihl7gLruLWRQG52VpSBwFDJjXh7eJlulnOreZjbTLrkDLBsZ5qE3u5Q7gx_gexgUsjd1tWZGT4NTla7VBE9P9YjbGJD17t5Q3AzPvNGG-rc6u7yYsWi3jYHb7-cItJg/s1600/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109834970c-500wi.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBgXrxR34CIqihl7gLruLWRQG52VpSBwFDJjXh7eJlulnOreZjbTLrkDLBsZ5qE3u5Q7gx_gexgUsjd1tWZGT4NTla7VBE9P9YjbGJD17t5Q3AzPvNGG-rc6u7yYsWi3jYHb7-cItJg/s320/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109834970c-500wi.png" width="235" /></a> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Alvin Lustig, "Incantation" 1947</span></i></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></i></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Alvin Lustig
designed these hallways. He was clever to merely call himself a designer and
not an occultist, but anyone with understanding can perceive secret messages in
the architecture — sigils bound in stucco and steel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7CX9UgeZNlBnbmVzcKRz5zizEKNkODd5XDJR1-xHhhR64dRrmajQybIo_tdX_oFcsfkPbkRAqjGsRhMuVaj2VN8Acl2ulB4LBRZ9YieR4dt7buxCpM3vyfhOf8CFJd3d9kJqJvNu1ag/s1600/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109a3e970c-500wi.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7CX9UgeZNlBnbmVzcKRz5zizEKNkODd5XDJR1-xHhhR64dRrmajQybIo_tdX_oFcsfkPbkRAqjGsRhMuVaj2VN8Acl2ulB4LBRZ9YieR4dt7buxCpM3vyfhOf8CFJd3d9kJqJvNu1ag/s320/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109a3e970c-500wi.png" width="266" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV9bF3WqsLd0vEff9YEqxWp6_55-NVVcrHqkYYqvfst2zFE7Wkzv6YRD0gRUBJizR_qxRKo9SHZrcCr7C560nnVGoOKbPXfok3bLiO-Ro9ucfhuzuc8HpRcdyohrErJCdX3YVZqnvj8Q/s1600/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109a68970c-500wi.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV9bF3WqsLd0vEff9YEqxWp6_55-NVVcrHqkYYqvfst2zFE7Wkzv6YRD0gRUBJizR_qxRKo9SHZrcCr7C560nnVGoOKbPXfok3bLiO-Ro9ucfhuzuc8HpRcdyohrErJCdX3YVZqnvj8Q/s320/6a00d83454ed4169e201b8d1109a68970c-500wi.png" width="250" /></a></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.5px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Portraits of Lustig by Maya Deren</i></span></span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Everyone here is
from out of town. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Everyone is here on
business.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBrPVNmGCqizhPMq9hMSg2XaMZdfdp6mBy5UtdGneRTbP-rrou11g7r3Lk__kMr6v29ic2poIRciZrNbwVADlUK47dVjghEg4692gOxizr8osxtHL5Du05oTQtaFYY5sTxohco7VAKsQ/s1600/ScreenCap017.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBrPVNmGCqizhPMq9hMSg2XaMZdfdp6mBy5UtdGneRTbP-rrou11g7r3Lk__kMr6v29ic2poIRciZrNbwVADlUK47dVjghEg4692gOxizr8osxtHL5Du05oTQtaFYY5sTxohco7VAKsQ/s320/ScreenCap017.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Last night I was
drawn to the amoeba-shaped pool, though I was very tired. Other guests seem to
feel it as well, travelers dressed for dinner though it was nearly eleven. A
young woman drank too much champagne and fell laughing into the water. I wanted
to help her, but knew better than to stain my good suit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">We watched her
thrash for a time, and when she grew still we raised a glass to her beauty and
then retired smiling to our rooms. The pool was empty this morning. Someone else is
checking in now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I too am here on
business, but I cannot remember what I do for a living. My credit cards are all
maxed out. My pistol and passport have been stolen from my room. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I fear I will never
leave. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">----------------------------------</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: xx-small;"><i>*I am staying in this hotel for work. I got sick of working so I wrote this up. No one actually drowned here last night.</i></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com64tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-55437529701281364852016-02-17T16:08:00.003-08:002016-02-23T17:38:47.452-08:00A thief, a priest, and two barbarians walk into a bar. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Last
night was the 3rd session of my <i>Ancient Aliens</i>-inspired 5e game. We played
in the upstairs lounge of the Mexican restaurant/bar next door to my apartment. The
1970’s rec room-meets-West Hollywood coke den décor therein makes a great
setting for Swords and Sorcery shenanigans. Plus, there’s a weed dispensary across the
street. I’m kind of shocked it took me 3 sessions to figure this out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Here’s what went down.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSiHNcHcAylnDh7GgK5yqMMNJslLpBGEpsx_FgNtQBKIRVJpfKQoT2UMME1xgfaCJR-5nXV1ytBRGylFv2gXbkwsuoKoR-aqidXBL_DBMrzVFUQRhaGFIPEvo_nKdY5PJxnvDBuK-tdA/s1600/unnamed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSiHNcHcAylnDh7GgK5yqMMNJslLpBGEpsx_FgNtQBKIRVJpfKQoT2UMME1xgfaCJR-5nXV1ytBRGylFv2gXbkwsuoKoR-aqidXBL_DBMrzVFUQRhaGFIPEvo_nKdY5PJxnvDBuK-tdA/s320/unnamed.png" width="180" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: xx-small;">Yes. That is a Disney Princess mechanical pencil on my Fiend Folio.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Black City was built by godlike visitors from
Sirius using slave labor and powerful magics not seen since the fall of
Pangaea. Something bad happened. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Whatever it was, it was bad enough for the
priests to hide the city from the gods. But the spells they used have grown
corrupt and now the strange, non-Euclidean avenues of the City are slowly leaking back into the world of men.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Five dipshits prowl the ruins, armed to the teeth and hoping
to slake their lust for gold and experience. They are:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Baal </span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- a Serpent Man Barbarian from
Vaalbara<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Prius </span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">- a Priest (deceased)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Rizzo</span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> - a Thief from the mean streets of
Atlantis (locals call it Hotlantis)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ragnar Bastardson</span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "century gothic"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> - a teenage Barbarian from the northern
wilderness<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">Sildar </span></b><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">– an aging npc warrior who lost his sword arm<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Having wisely
avoided a squad of vampires, the group rappelled down a black basalt wall and
entered a hallway. There they discovered a trap that released gasified Green
Slime into the air, but not before some of the congealed slime discovered the
Priest’s face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">They bashed down
a door, alerting a pair of wandering Ghouls to their location. Battle ensued in a room used to store ritual
teas, and The Second Ghoul succeeded where the Green Slime failed. The Priest
is dead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Despite having
two Barbarians in the party, the Thief actually managed to land the killing
blow on BOTH of the Ghouls, possibly aided by the weapon he found in session
One.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGfNXe-99uoidnhqu5WycNzfoy2ZYd2P117khLDk1jafu3-hgmXN92wiiQjC-_qTdIlf12ll3i52_WvJ7CT3lYtM_WrIZpWyCR7rUce2HT4vpD2QHEAKjU-z0ZDsXyFEm_Kvg_S9OoOQ/s1600/Gall-Dennar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGfNXe-99uoidnhqu5WycNzfoy2ZYd2P117khLDk1jafu3-hgmXN92wiiQjC-_qTdIlf12ll3i52_WvJ7CT3lYtM_WrIZpWyCR7rUce2HT4vpD2QHEAKjU-z0ZDsXyFEm_Kvg_S9OoOQ/s1600/Gall-Dennar.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">This was a quick
game but a lot happened to solidify the game thematically. My initial idea
for this campaign was “Kinda like if </span><i style="font-family: 'Century Gothic';">Red Nails</i><span style="font-family: "century gothic";">
was set in R’lyeh”, but this was the first time those elements started to come into
play. The first two sessions had been fairly unstructured, basically getting
used to the game again. My procedural skills as a DM have gotten pretty rusty
and this was this first session where I felt confident with minimal prep. Actually my entire prep consisted of looking at notes written on my phone
during my 20 minute bus ride home from work.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Fernet helped. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-4184194401844419352015-06-10T14:09:00.001-07:002015-06-10T16:59:45.330-07:00WEIRDWORLDI agreed to run 5e for a group of my weird coworkers this weekend.<br />
<br />
So far, the only preparation I've done is read Aaron & Del Mundo's Weirdworld #1, which came out today.<br />
<br />
20 pages later, I am fully prepared. The setup line alone ("<i>Where Lost Things Go</i>") is enough to set my brain on fire.<br />
<br />
Also, I want a 100 issue run of this damn book. If gonzo late 70's / early 80's Sword & Sorcery is your thing (and if you're reading a D&D blog, it probably is), then Weirdworld #1 is worth your 4 dollars. For that you get cool art, hilarious dialog, a slew of Bronze age and Crystar references, a floating island, a map that includes a location called "Motherboard Mountain", and a metric crapton of fun. Dig it, True Believer!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb1wsu5_KM6E85FSAzHfXd_Jv5fy98R7WhspYdZ6bpCyMPvC5noccJVD0vzh9PT7MUE4lXobMBBEoqJ1YRR_mlzhGA2buVfc0gEoZJKJ4384UUz3IByepJUfjg9KgEBPvrF2kSBM1GGw/s1600/WEIRDW2015001_DC11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb1wsu5_KM6E85FSAzHfXd_Jv5fy98R7WhspYdZ6bpCyMPvC5noccJVD0vzh9PT7MUE4lXobMBBEoqJ1YRR_mlzhGA2buVfc0gEoZJKJ4384UUz3IByepJUfjg9KgEBPvrF2kSBM1GGw/s320/WEIRDW2015001_DC11.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
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BUY OR CRY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-30117389019264144362015-04-16T07:24:00.001-07:002015-04-16T10:12:13.145-07:00Night Falls On Grundyville<div class="p1">
<i>…and a wet fog rolls off the harbor, cloaking the flooded streets of Old Town in a sick miasma. Out on Harbor Isle, the gas lamps of Doc Grundy’s Miracle Elixir Company still burn a noxious green, though the factory has been shuttered since the new proprietor came home on a boat laden with foreign idols, a big bellied Eel Wife by his side. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>At the sign of the Lamprey’s Daughter, bastards and thieves throw down their coin as a ten year old boy chokes a small but vicious dog in the fighting pit. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Seances are held in musty parlors. Esoteric orders gather behind moldy drapes. Heavy canvas bags are delivered without comment to anatomists and pie makers alike.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>And is it me, or just Whateley's Whiskey, or do the rats seem extremely well organized?</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Come morning, the fungus priests will clear away the fruiting bodies that choke the alleys each night, barely staying ahead of the Rot. The omnipresent chimneys will make greasy smoke of that which died in the night —little else will burn around here. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>The church bells will ring, but the pews will remain empty. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>God draws no crowd in Grundyville. </i></div>
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<i> </i> <br />
<b>What it is:</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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A grotesque urban setting for Elf Games. A fetid shithole of a port town, a pox upon decent folk, a half-flooded Sodom-by-the-Sea. Bertolt Brecht’s Innsmouth, a Norman Rockwell painting of feral orphans kicking a drowned dog.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>What it looks like:</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzELaI3wIRSI_KU0Mb2irhu66VXF0ABGFnQAlMj0-AOu_ZvPEDNqaioI-_FeFKAOa_ZNsbNwZx4SMsgtD_DRu-XxuXXNUu-UwaXY1QvtS4oas6keZBzF5yJh9dcgPPIt-r1tNeyMpcNg/s1600/1370999944-4979thief-e3-2013-online-concept-art-061113-ca06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzELaI3wIRSI_KU0Mb2irhu66VXF0ABGFnQAlMj0-AOu_ZvPEDNqaioI-_FeFKAOa_ZNsbNwZx4SMsgtD_DRu-XxuXXNUu-UwaXY1QvtS4oas6keZBzF5yJh9dcgPPIt-r1tNeyMpcNg/s1600/1370999944-4979thief-e3-2013-online-concept-art-061113-ca06.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrnGSgKPFHtIzCOFi-DOIR7bBksP5lB2rHF8tFeW995WZ0n8bQE83hSgjOkSLZ3PF5SYh9CdMFJc6US6tCTMPchH1WxG1LJlWBzgSbSfIi8ZR72zoQBiJ-AUByERK13Ej4yG604j-86Q/s1600/dishonored_dunwall_cityscape__no_logo__by_nordlicht-d730yzz.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrnGSgKPFHtIzCOFi-DOIR7bBksP5lB2rHF8tFeW995WZ0n8bQE83hSgjOkSLZ3PF5SYh9CdMFJc6US6tCTMPchH1WxG1LJlWBzgSbSfIi8ZR72zoQBiJ-AUByERK13Ej4yG604j-86Q/s1600/dishonored_dunwall_cityscape__no_logo__by_nordlicht-d730yzz.png" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsZYqAu6Cl-Hb50knltfaNYX6m6_f3GhSDs85M9z_ZeqeBysXCH4ZkoIOXomN0UlFleqyaKBWAENAF5gyNMYkwohfg-scLkVsai7lp9lBycJmqlIsFzm2S5FaCjInRzUHE0KbvELRdhA/s1600/thief-concept-art-19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsZYqAu6Cl-Hb50knltfaNYX6m6_f3GhSDs85M9z_ZeqeBysXCH4ZkoIOXomN0UlFleqyaKBWAENAF5gyNMYkwohfg-scLkVsai7lp9lBycJmqlIsFzm2S5FaCjInRzUHE0KbvELRdhA/s1600/thief-concept-art-19.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBOg9ZXAjdGCO_9dDDEZb5NGdQnY7HAcWvY1sYdWF3AJZkI4KG5KviU01WYxupkbPSrozzcKoOpM5ML-6cjX-Ol5aNTRz6lY1hTue2bufXacLFK6z9f2gE7W6AClYrkxCa8PG8xFSXQ/s1600/dishonored_whalepostcard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBOg9ZXAjdGCO_9dDDEZb5NGdQnY7HAcWvY1sYdWF3AJZkI4KG5KviU01WYxupkbPSrozzcKoOpM5ML-6cjX-Ol5aNTRz6lY1hTue2bufXacLFK6z9f2gE7W6AClYrkxCa8PG8xFSXQ/s1600/dishonored_whalepostcard.jpg" height="194" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(concept art swiped from the <i>Dishonored</i> and <i>Thief</i> video games)</span></div>
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<b>What it sounds like:</b> </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UDjEDmgytOA/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UDjEDmgytOA?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<b>What kind of trouble can my PC get into there?</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Off the top of my head, they could</div>
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<br /></div>
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…run afoul of organized crime, or organize some crime of their own</div>
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…rub shoulders with Old Money, the decadent, ghoulish, and probably cannibal upper class</div>
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…battle Eel Men and slack-jawed flood zombies in the submerged streets of Old Town</div>
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…explore Harbor Isle’s haunted factory/megadungeon</div>
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…avoid mutation-inducing alchemical pollution and its accompanying weather</div>
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…hunt Leviathans with cutthroat sailors as desperate and dangerous as yourself</div>
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<br /></div>
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Stuff like that.</div>
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---</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I’ve always been fond of urban fantasy, but I’ve never run a city-based game. I'm giving it a shot, hence this bullshit. Expect sooty industrial hellscapes, scientific hubris, wizard gangs, undead thugs, sewer delves, and half-cocked (sometimes quarter-cocked) notions.</div>
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Part 1 of lots.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-28514622115548146052015-03-31T23:00:00.001-07:002015-04-01T09:26:11.782-07:00Book Review: Princes of the Apocalypse<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Principia Apocalyptica</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
Princes of the Apocalypse is a 250-ish page hardbound adventure for 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons characters level 1-15, with an MSRP of $49.95 USD. Here's roughly what you're paying for:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
13 pages of background, factions, and adventure hooks</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
21 pages on Red Larch and the surrounding Dessarin Valley, the area where the adventure occurs.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
140 pages of keyed adventure locations, dungeons, and side treks.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
24 pages of monsters and NPCs</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
8 pages on the Princes of Elemental Evil</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
4 pages of new magic items</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
3 pages on Genasi as a player race</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
13 pages of new spells</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
8 pages on adapting the material to various published D&D worlds.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
5 pages of sketchbook and concept art for things that didn't make it into the adventure but really, really should have. I am definitely bringing the Walrus Knight back.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Note: these counts are eyeballed. The font size is generous and there is a vast amount of art in this book.</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The book itself is <i>Realms</i>-centric, but only in the naming of certain factions and cities. It's slightly worse than what we saw in <i>The Lost Mines of Phandelver</i>. I'm not spoiling much by saying this adventure is about preventing an elemental apocalypse.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>WHAT I LIKED:</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>The structure is pretty good.</i> The adventure starts small, with a missing persons investigation, which leads to the discovery of one or more cults active in the area. The events will progress with or without the intervention of the PCs, and how they deal with them is a matter of choice. Combat is one solution, though infiltration and intrigue are likely to be more fun. For being nonlinear, the writers have managed to make the progression of events/monsters/cool locations feel earned.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Plenty of dungeons. </i>Much like Zelda, there's a Water Temple, an Earth Temple, a Fire Temple, and Wind Temple. The Elemental Nodes are cinematic and evocative. The cults are just developed enough for the DM to make their own. There is a crapload of adventure content. Several of the side treks seem really fun. Actually, if you're starting a new campaign you'll need to run a couple off the bat, as the real joint doesn't really kick off until you're 3rd level.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>It's not an adventure path. </i>I wouldn't describe it as an adventure path in the Paizo sense because there doesn't appear to be any railroading (note: I understand that a certain amount of railroading is to be expected in an adventure path, which is why I'm happy Princes of the Apocalypse isn't one). It's really a campaign more than an adventure module.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Diversity of enemies.</i> I feel like half the monsters in the Monster Manual show up in this thing. Some of them seem a bit randomly placed but it wouldn't be D&D otherwise. Also, over 15 levels you're likely to get mighty sick of 100% elemental-themed enemies. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>The Balloon Pack: </i>one of the magic items is essentially an air elemental-powered jet pack.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Shoutouts to The Temple of Elemental Evil </i>are there without really being there at all. I always wanted to like that adventure but never really did, and I actually think I'd have more fun with this one.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839216); font-family: freight-text-pro; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 29.8667526245117px;">¯\_(ツ)_/¯</span></div>
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<b>WHAT I THINK IS REALLY DUMB:</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<i>The overland map. </i>Once again, WOTC publishes a very pretty map gridded out in numberless 10-mile hexes. Which is good for determining travel times and that's it. There is ample dead space in this book to include 10 pages of encounters keyed to hexes. Even if you don't want to write them, at least number the fucking hexes for me, Mister Fifty Dollar Book.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<i>What they cut.</i> Those concept art pages have some pretty great stuff that I wish was in there. Giant vulture riders? Brain parasites? Arial dungeons? Who says no to stuff like that? (Answer: Chris Perkins)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
<b>A GENERAL OBSERVATION:</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Like any book of this type, many DMs will want to tinker around to make the enemies and cults fit the world they're running. I think they've done a good job giving you an adventure that works without giving you too much that you won't use. Room and location descriptions are for the most part brief and manageable. These aren't One Page Dungeons, but I doubt anyone really expected them to be. This is always a hard balance to strike because everyone in the OSR knows you could do this book in a third of the page count, but then someone else will complain they paid for something that ain't finished cookin' yet.</div>
</div>
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<b>BUT WOULD YOU RUN IT THO?</b></div>
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<div>
Yes, totally. I am not overcome with a burning desire to do so first thing tomorrow, but that might actually be a good thing. It's a solid, nonlinear, site-based adventure with plenty to do, and it stands head and shoulders above <i>Tyranny of Dragons</i>. I think this would be a lot of fun for any group looking for a lengthy, classic-feeling cult-bashing adventure. Many bonus points if they're also <i>Avatar</i> and <i>Legend of Korra</i> fans.</div>
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If you can't get down with insane cults who worship the concept of air or whatever, then this is probably not for you. </div>
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For everyone else, I give it a </div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>B</b></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-78292620631341531532015-03-30T12:17:00.003-07:002015-03-30T13:23:08.075-07:00Princes of the Apocalypse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VEJ8lpCQbyw/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VEJ8lpCQbyw?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I am immortal. I have inside me blood of kings.</i></span></div>
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I picked up the new 5e campaign book this weekend. My awesome <a href="http://www.ggportland.com/" target="_blank">local</a> gets it early on account of being awesome. If you're ever passing through Portland, pay them a visit. </div>
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I ended up with a much busier weekend than expected, so I've only read the introductory chapters. I'm planning to review it via this very blog this week, but here are my first impressions:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-It looks like a site-based adventure with enemy factions (the four elemental cults), and it looks like you could tackle it in any order, play one cult against another, etc. So far so good.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-The four cults have four elemental themed weapons, so there will be swag once they are dead. The cults also seem like they'll be fun to flesh out.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-There are some good, if cursory flavor bits for each cult. For instance, followers of the water cult obsess over water breathing magic and consume potions in order to spend time meditating underwater. Such meditation rarely provides enlightenment though, bringing to mind the rather bogus nature of real world fringe religious cults.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-It's really funny to think of Evil Water as a concept until you really consider how each element is inimical to human existence. Lightless, crushing depths of anything scare me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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-I like the idea of elemental worship because it evokes vague connections to real world mysticism.</div>
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<br /></div>
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-The art direction of 5e is largely preferable to me than the last two editions, however the maps seem to maintain the WotC standard of Pretty > Useful.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-Like every published adventure it's too wordy and the backstory is overwrought. However, the background really does boil down to "fight evil cults for fun and profit", so it's not as terrible as some adventures I've read.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-It includes the <a href="http://media.wizards.com/2015/downloads/dnd/EE_PlayersCompanion.pdf" target="_blank">free players companion</a>. Since anyone can get that for free I didn't see a need to include it in the book (24 pages is a lot of real estate). </div>
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That's it. Not much useful information in this post since these are just the vibes I got from a casual look-see. </div>
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Blog tax:</div>
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<i>Aegis of Tourmaline:</i></div>
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This fist-sized chunk of black tourmaline is a ward against elemental Earth magic. It will automatically absorb d10 bludgeoning damage cause by an attack from any earth elemental or earth-based based spell. It doesn't have to be brandished to function, simply having it in your bag is enough. Once it absorbs 10 points of damage, it crumbles to a fine black powder and ceases to function. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-85815797144102276602015-03-25T02:22:00.000-07:002015-03-25T11:27:43.231-07:00That's no moon, it's...<a href="http://giantevilwizard.blogspot.com/2014/04/agents-of-ape.html" target="_blank">A book of extremely useful d12 charts</a> alerted me to the fact that my campaign has a leftover fortress world hanging around somewhere in the night sky.<br />
<br />
What is it? Let's roll a D10 and find out:<br />
<br />
1. An orbital super weapon terraformed by Elves long ago. Now a pristine, forested moon, it is home to a race of aloof High Elven types. But they are besieged by attacks from the insane, <a href="http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/images/c/cd/Locutus_complexion_drain.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130214005126&path-prefix=en" target="_blank">biomechanical Drow</a> living just below the surface.<br />
<br />
2. A stranded battleworld trapped in your planet's gravity well. Its clone gladiators await...<br />
<span style="color: red;"> <i>roll d4: </i></span><br />
1) worthy opponents to test their ancient mettle <br />
2) repairs to get them back on the Galactic Battle Circuit<br />
3) a messiah to lead them against the forces of Chaos<br />
4) strong genetic material to refresh the amniotic vats (which have been pumping out Mutoids for a while now)<br />
<br />
3. The largest piece of debris in the <a href="http://giantevilwizard.blogspot.com/2013/02/d12-things-what-just-fell-out-of.html" target="_blank">Orbital Rust Belt</a> (roll on that table and extrapolate something)<br />
<br />
4. A decrepit space hulk of the Dinosaur Imperium. Its cold blooded serpent soldiers lie dormant until the geodesic dome above the Terror Terrarium can be repaired.<br />
<br />
5. The time-distorted remains of a transport ship that a previous race tried to use to escape the campaign world aeons ago.<br />
<br />
6. The head of an ancient Cosmic God That Could Not Survive A Lawsuit From The Jack Kirby Estate. Speaking of <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPY4bhtyZgHiucrdRMffFFpUERDrZXhFCwBWlZuZzC7Mf9cb-Ftb2DvGpIv7g4YkUqDHA8w0VVNsIQ4fmlzdOpETghx5AiKkphgwcgMSMMVkBBRJveMGv62LECNgQ_igPR9PmYGQBL7fY/s1600/celestial+head+view.jpg" target="_blank">Celestials</a>, <i>The Dreaming Celestial</i> is named Tiamut. That name reminds me of something....hmmm....<br />
<br />
7. A branch of the <a href="http://www.lovecraftlibrary.org/celephais/" target="_blank">Celephais Library System</a>. Its volumes are said to contain the esoteric lore of a thousand dead worlds.<br />
<br />
8. Nevermind, it's just the station from the <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr6qbFMOgB49xevt5QGen0bMkbN0Ulq_FmUB7fcC-HelvyJDmMmop4OWGrZuvrLUZOfdkj7LozUs7xqlWOpj1k06A_gAEFwtvpUDYir_5YVIPnWPf4R8wa2bvrCjCXNQPv-efb0CgjMgk/s1600-h/GammaWorldScreenCover.jpg" target="_blank">Albuquerque Starport</a>. Hopefully one of the PCs comes back wearing a Dead Kennedy's amulet.<br />
<br />
9. The remains of a Suncrusher used by man man in his desperation to cut off Serpentkind's powersource. 50% chance it was never used but still active, 50% chance it succeeded and the campaign begins under a dead sun.<br />
<br />
10. Secret holdfast of the superwizards, a magical Illuminati and the secret gods of the campaign world. Their existence is merely a rumor until someone in the party gains access to 9th level spells, at which point they appear to offer a seat on their council.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-79352860593257815152015-03-23T20:34:00.001-07:002015-03-23T20:34:50.119-07:00"That is not dead which never updates." Jesus said that.<br />
<br />
I recently made the mistake of taking life seriously. This is an affliction that affects many, and frequently results in them becoming assholes. In an effort to save myself, I'm trying to fit a lot more leisure into my over-scheduled life. Thus, more games and hopefully more frequent updates.<br />
<br />
My local group started up again with Ned, the DM who got me back into Mentzer D&D way back in the bygone days of 2005. Ned is a thoroughly old school referee —the type that I believe would make Gary proud— and he has only the vaguest notion that the OSR exists. Ned has simply never seen the need to run anything else. He's a module guy, and we're currently playing an AD&D adventure called <i>Ravager of Time</i>. It's a Graeme Morris/Jim Bambra joint, and after three sessions it definitely carries the distinct vibe of the UK modules. It also has all the exposition I'd expect from TSR in 1986 but Ned has probably spared us from the worst of it.<br />
<br />
I'm playing Ylva Eigengrau, a 9th level thief from Glantri. So far she's also served as the PR agent for our party.<br />
<br />
It's funny how my play style has changed over the last decade. As a player in an Olde School game I used to be more procedural, poking every damn thing with a ten foot pole, the whole tunnel rat rigamarole. I became impatient with this hyper-specific, pixel bitching mode of play when I actually started running games again, and I began to move into a more swashbuckling style. Thus, Ylva has damn near gotten herself killed twice in three sessions, because as a player I would rather die instigating shit than spend a friday night being overly cautious and getting nowhere. I fully expect Ylva to die as she lived: too close to the edge, babe.<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
In other news, I'm also on the hook to deliver a 5e game for another group of mostly new players. I've played a few sessions and found it to do pretty much everything I want D&D to do. It's easy to run, provides as much fiddle faddle as I care to use, and will kill your ass dead for the first few levels.<br />
<br />
While thinking about what I want to do for that I remembered <a href="http://giantevilwizard.blogspot.com/2014/04/agents-of-ape.html" target="_blank">that time I used The Dungeon Dozen to make an entire campaign in 20 minutes</a>, and I gotta say it holds up to my standard of "I would play that". I'm not 100% sold on Badger people but I am 1000% sold on Sleestaks.<br />
<br />
So, after a dip into the Giant Evil Wizard Memorial Archives for research materials, I am currently sitting next to a pile of Devil Dinosaur, Kull the Conqueror, and Xenozoic Tales comics, 5 volumes of the Attack on Titan manga, David Icke's "<i>Children of the Matrix</i>" (for reptilian conspiracy content, also FML for owning this), and a complete set of <i>Dinosaur Attacks</i> cards.<br />
<br />
Wine is chilling in the fridge, I made a pizza, and I jut opened a bottle of Squirt. Should be an interesting evening.<br />
<br />
Also, I can already see that my bookshelf has a pretty serious Kaiju deficit, so I'm open to suggestions. Is there an Eyewitness-type visual guide to Toho monsters?<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-967505090890408152014-07-26T13:44:00.000-07:002014-07-26T15:42:34.035-07:00Digging up the Future's Past<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">NOTE: I started this post more than a week ago and forgot about it so please forgive any thematic shift that may occur partway through. </span></i><br />
<br />
I'm writing this post as I wait for the Destiny beta to install on my PS4. At the rate it's going I could probably get 10,000 words down before I get to repeatedly experience the joy of having my ass handed to me by some 14 year old kid in a midwestern basement.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The install screen shows a robust gallery of concept art for the game, and I'm digging it. The world is somewhere between Gamma World and Numenera. There are still enough near-future bits to be recognizable, but there are also vast, alien constructs and arcologies in the mix. It's pretty cool.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I've run D&D in post-apocalyptic settings before. It's actually my preferred world building style, likely due to my love of Vance's <i>Dying Earth</i> (especially the first book) and Gene Wolfe's <i>Book of the New Sun</i>. Usually the nods to the world's past are well hidden —easter eggs at best— but I think it would be pretty awesome to be more opaque about this stuff.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Numenera's world is so far flung that it becomes completely fantasy. Any nods to scifi are tenuous. The Sufficiently Advanced Technology isn't so much <i>indistinguishable</i> from magic as it is plain old magic. And that's fine, because I don't necessarily want to be describing a toaster to players as if it's some ancient artifact of the Old Ones. I think a world maybe a century on from what you see in the <i>Fallout</i> series is a good model as far as technology levels go.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">EDIT: I just went out for a burrito and install screen is only at 20%. God damn it man.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
After my previous post I started looking at other stuff on my shelf for things to screw up 5e with. I really like the Icons of 13th Age, though not necessarily their implementation as written. So I wondered what they might look like in a more thematic setting. I'm only doing 9 of them, since that maps to alignment and anyway 9 is more than enough for any single campaign to use. Taken as a whole I think they have the makings of a weird science fantasy campaign.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The Parliament of Paraquantum Logic</b> (LG): At some point, humanity builds and launches a colony ship bound for Sirius. However, a timespace anomaly causes the ship to return to Earth <i>before</i> it is even built in the first place, causing all sorts of warp havoc and creating the setting. The humans that now inhabit the ship have evolved well beyond their ancestors-turned-contemporaries. These are basically the Elves of the setting and the Parliament are their Jedi Council.<br />
<i>Opposed to: </i><i>The Forces of Evil, generally speaking.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<b>The Subatomic Congress</b> (NG): A Mycanoid hive mind obsessed with magic of the highest order. Their spores turn people into secret sleeper agents/wizards.<br />
<i>Opposed to: S.C.O.T.T.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<b>Solomon Dark</b> (CG): More rumor than fact, and information is sketchy at best. Described as a freedom fighting Golem, a dangerous wizard, or a common terrorist. It depends on who you ask.<br />
<i>Opposed to:</i> <i>His evil creator, Doctor Collapsar. Doesn't seem to think too highly of the Warlock Syndicate either.</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The Imperatrix (</b>LN): Empress of the West, Bride of the Black Blade, clone.<br />
<i>Opposed to: S.C.O.T.T.</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The Center for Disease Control</b> (N): A group of vampires dedicated to studying and eradicating disease (which includes finding a cure for their own affliction). Possible group for Cleric PCs to get missions from.<i> </i><br />
<i>Opposed to: mostly just the Mindless Undead.</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The Nova Academy</b> (CN): This is more or less an adventurer's guild. The Pathfinder Society meets Miskatonic University. A place to trade loot and information for Murderhobo PCs who don't want to commit to remembering who's who in the game world.<br />
<i>Opposed to: anyone who gets between them and their unquenchable lust for gold and experience.</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Doctor Collapsar</b> (LE): Slave lord of the Insectroids and Paraduke of the Spider Syndicate.<br />
<i>Opposed to: His rebellious creation Solomon Dark, The Imperatrix</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>S.C.O.T.T. </b>(NE): A young psychic boy infected with a nanotech virus which allows total possession by an orbital AI. He is considered a messiah to a fringe android religious movement called the Iron Jihad. Akira with a congregation of IG-88s.<br />
<i>Opposed to: The Subatomic Congress</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<b>The Warlock Syndicate</b> (CE): Semi-organized gangs of Witches, Demons, and Night Creeps who take orders from voices emanating from the black hole in the sky left by the Parliament's return.<br />
<i>Opposed to: The Parliament of Paraquantum Logic, all life on Earth.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">That game took almost 7 hours to install, so I went to a show and forgot about this post. Now that I've had a few days to play it, Destiny is okay but FPS games just don't interest me like they used to. Not even really well designed ones, which it seems to be.</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I've also had the above factions in mind for the past week and they haven't mutated terribly beyond their original concepts, so I think I like them enough to get started on building the rest of the setting. When I say "Setting", I'm talking about random tables and hex descriptions, not <i>Silmarillion</i> levels of backstory. I really like the idea of a classic adventuring party wandering through the melted ruins of the West Coast, fighting alien dragons and automated security golems.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-8044910289659661172014-07-16T15:13:00.003-07:002014-07-16T15:17:26.685-07:00In Which Unconnected Brain Burps Give Birth To Synaptic Siblings, Sorta<div class="MsoNormal">
This blog has never been particularly prolific, and
sometimes I think about torching the entire operation. A number of factors
contribute to this, laziness being a principle, but bad health and career
stress also play a role. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve recently come out of the second serious and prolonged
threat to my life, alive if not unscathed, and slipping the Hangman is
beginning to feel like a recurrent theme in my life. It feels a bit like being
a low-level player character to be honest.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One leap of logic
later, I’ve come to realize that this is the source of my growing reservations
about 5e. I’m happy to see WotC return to a style of game that feels familiar
to me, but I think much of my enthusiasm is of the OMG NEW STUFF TO GET
variety. This is typical behavior for many fandoms. The need to waste money is
probably a deeper psychological issue than I’m ready to confront when it comes
to Elfgames though.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s a whole lot of hit points in this game. Sometimes I
think it’s a good thing. I’m okay with certain videogame-like breaks in
verisimilitude because it is, after all, a game. But on the other hand, I spent
18 days in the hospital last month recovering from a particularly gnarly
infection —exactly the kind of thing someone living in a shit-smeared,
battle-infested medieval milieu might be forced to deal with— and I can tell
you firsthand that the “meaningful possibility of death” is good for the
protagonist. I feel as if I’ve accomplished something by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">merely surviving</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s at least two ways to look at the protagonists in a
D&D game. One is the ragtag group of adventurers wielding rusty swords and
secondhand armor, exploring a brutal and mysterious world with two spells and a
dozen hit points between them. Let’s call that the George RR Martin version. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The other way to think of PCs is the Robert E Howard
version, competent adventurers ready to tread the thrones of Earth beneath
tastefully sandaled feet, wading balls deep into every horde of subhuman
bastards foolish enough to challenge their magic blades.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are things I like about both approaches. One of the
things I enjoy about my experience with the DCCRPG is that it tends to
encourage crazy cinematic exploits while still managing to be quite deadly. I
want the threat to be real, the lofty potential of 2<sup>nd</sup> level to be
earned, but I also want to see PCs kicking ass like Sho Kosugi. And players (at
least mine) get off on that kind of blockbuster action hero madness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Honestly, there are better systems to accommodate this
balance than D&D has ever done, but those all share the sin of “not being
D&D”. This is problematic for my aesthetic obsessions, even though I know
it shouldn’t be. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
My group is committed to giving 5e an honest chance, but I’m
already thinking about fucking around with the rules. I have enough experience
running these games to know it’s usually a good idea to play the damn thing as
written before you fuck it up, but damned if I don’t want to just swipe a handful
of things from it and bolt them onto LotFP. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-92089399524288651992014-04-28T23:47:00.002-07:002014-04-28T23:48:53.457-07:00Local Moron Puts On Airs, Goes To Symphony.<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
General
observations about seeing John Williams conduct the Oregon Symphony tonight:</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
</div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">It
is impossible to avoid mentally superimposing The Crawl above an orchestra
playing the Star Wars theme.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">John
Williams anecdotally refers to Yoda as “<i>The elder wizard character from the
second film</i>”.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The
theme from Close Encounters is badass.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">The
moment when the Eliot’s bicycles takes flight in <i>E.T.</i> is so emotionally tied to
the score that hearing it live sans picture actually had the same effect as
when I saw that scene in the theater at age 7.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Don’t
worry about not seeing Indiana Jones listed in the program. There will be an
encore.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">John
Williams is not the sort of Maestro who is afraid to follow the Indiana Jones
encore with the theme from the NBC Nightly News.</li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-86237854959736742412014-04-22T20:54:00.001-07:002014-04-22T20:54:21.507-07:00Save vs. Chris Perkins' Wig<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuw26OxZuLgNm5yjHK8l-zZHyLDIG1nupSaf2AQemofnPXoiQnRmL1NqAY6N42BkG_tN2g7XygfdOBSwKY3oDZjULIPS-wdWuCRRdXTsQIbrCJMcgia_yaLm64L_1FSFdi9xXMLkBnfw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-04-22+at+8.31.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuw26OxZuLgNm5yjHK8l-zZHyLDIG1nupSaf2AQemofnPXoiQnRmL1NqAY6N42BkG_tN2g7XygfdOBSwKY3oDZjULIPS-wdWuCRRdXTsQIbrCJMcgia_yaLm64L_1FSFdi9xXMLkBnfw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-04-22+at+8.31.53+PM.png" height="196" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<i>The Wig of Perkins</i> is a new magic item compatible with the World's Most Popular Role Playing Game. It confers the following abilities:<br />
<br />
+15 skill bonus to Exposition<br />
<br />
+5 to resist any player's attempt to control their own character<br />
<br />
Once per day, the Wig can create a distraction to convince a humanoid subject that the 5e rules will be ready by GenCon. No saving throw is allowed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-14556269207011889562014-04-21T22:03:00.002-07:002014-04-21T22:14:53.205-07:00Dungeonpunk, and Why Rat Queens is the Most D&D Thing AroundSometime in the mid-2000s, I started seeing the term “Dungeonpunk”
being thrown around online to describe some of the art style of 3<sup>rd</sup>
edition D&D. It seemed to be used to denote “<i>adventurers dressed in spikey leather fetish bits carrying potion
bandoleers</i>” as often as it was meant to say “<i>I miss the old art and therefore this is terrible</i>”<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not going to debate that it’s terrible (much of it was),
and I’m not going to rant about the fact that adding the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">–punk</i> suffix to a noun and calling it a thing is about as punk as
the one thousand t-shirt variants of the Black Flag logo that have been
bombarding us the last few years (seriously graphics peeps: the Black Flag bars
are the new <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Keep Calm And ______</i> of
tired-ass design jokes).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, Dungeonpunk. Sounds pretty dumb. In what sort of world
would such a thing exist? I suppose Dungeonpunk would become a thing when the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Youth</b> get sick of kicking around
bumfuck Hommlet and start sneaking off to house parties in Nulb. Checking out
dungeons is what amounts to Teenage Kicks in Fantasyland. Like drugs and
skateboarding and listening to Slayer, you get into it because it pisses old
people off. When all medieval parents want is for their kids to take over the
family Serf-ing business, any imaginative teen is going to sneak out of the
house, dressed in the leather or wizardly robes that symbolize their rebellion,
and hit up the Caves of Chaos for a good time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By that metric, my game world is pretty dungeonpunk. See,
when my players talk about what being an adventurer means, I always say it lies
somewhere between being a professional athlete and a rock star. It manages to look glamorous while serving almost no actual function in society. At early levels
you’re on the road, sleeping on floors, scraping up whatever gold and
experience you can get your hands on. At mid levels, you have fans (and haters)
in every town. Kids hang posters with the name of your crew on the walls of
their hovels. You might even find a groupie willing to carry your lantern. And
at high levels it’s all armor endorsements and a signature line of potions and
a fancy home with an entourage.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The Adventurer takes a chance because dying in battle in
some ooze-infested shithole still beats the relative-but-guaranteed comfort of gongfarming.
They’d rather run away from home and wander the countryside as desperate
heroes, dressed like an asshole, killing monsters and busting slave rings,
because stuff like that will get you laid. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Image comic <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="https://imagecomics.com/comics/releases/rat-queens-vol.-1-sass-and-sorcery-tp" target="_blank">RatQueens</a></i> captures this philosophy beautifully. The only epic quest the Rat
Queens are on is to PARTY BALLZ, which occasionally means killing a troll or casting <i>Evard's Black Tentacles</i> or defending a city from attack. And all that leads to a story, in the same way
that rolling on a carousing table can sometimes turn into a great, memorable
gaming session. In spirit, humor, and dialogue, Rat Queens is the closest thing
I’ve found to what playing D&D is actually like at the table. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I mean, sure: the DM spends all this time building his world
and adding arbitrary apostrophes to all the names and making it all cool and dark
and perfect, but the moment the PCs finally meet the arch-villain <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Y’oth the Devil Binder</i>, the party wizard
yells “I'ma cast <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Magic Missile</i> at his
nuts!” and it's dumb and funny and everyone cracks up. And that moment is really good, because it took
all of you to make it happen, and that’s why you play. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-25063426359893547352014-04-21T17:35:00.000-07:002014-04-21T17:40:45.489-07:00(belated) Scene Report: International Table Top Day<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Guardian Games, April 5th 2014</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">It’s been about two weeks since I sat in
on <a href="https://plus.google.com/114882220753949540173/posts" target="_blank">+Jobe Bittman’</a>s playtest for his next DCC RPG module. I had a great time bumbling
my way around as the urchin wizard Fantastic Frank, and will be looking
forward to running the final release of the module. I’m not going to say much about a
work that isn’t published yet but I think it’s okay to say that what I saw of
the adventure would’ve felt right at home to both Doctor Strange and Rhialto
the Marvelous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">The setting of wizardly intrigue dripped with a far out Jack Vance-meets-Bronze Age Comics atmosphere. Jobe was a great DM,
rolling with our bad ideas and adapting (seemingly without effort) when those ideas took us to places that may not be fully prepped yet. In truth, the fact
that I wasn’t able to tell what was a fully fleshed out area and what was just
a sketch in the DMs head is a good example of Jobe’s ability to stay on his
toes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">I liked his previous DCC module quite a
bit and look forward to more of his output. While I found some of the early DCC
releases to be atmospheric but too linear, the most recent stuff seems to be
more inspired, tapping into a primal aesthetic that’s somewhere between New
Wave Fantasy and that stoned hesher carving band logos into his desk during
detention. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Also, Fantastic Frank survived and he
and his “sexy-voiced Giant Cricket familiar” are now NPCs in my home campaign.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Also, looks like Jobe announced via G+ that he'd be finishing the writing for the posthumous release of Dave Brockie's <i>Towers Two</i> for Lamentations. Congratulations dude. You seem like the right man for the job. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Look for The 998<sup>th</sup> Concord of
Wizards later this year, and catch Jobe on <a href="http://spellburn.com/" target="_blank">Spellburn</a>, the only RPG podcast that uses fucking <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtzq4DnSnUk" target="_blank">Glitter Wizard</a> as a theme song. Probably.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-6336230477318813102014-04-14T23:37:00.002-07:002014-04-14T23:37:25.615-07:00Wanted: Digesto<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4akEIyhWGeIMxya4mPuiufwIopTjOfewLkUlsgHphqGIjeaOXTlHeNSiqCpIFxKbXhTlU4U_Xslq8UidzW0jyJu871hP-fSrTJVYYFXFz3pezklVjC3iZmbnQJSAiNO9wAulYrbwblg/s1600/Digesto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4akEIyhWGeIMxya4mPuiufwIopTjOfewLkUlsgHphqGIjeaOXTlHeNSiqCpIFxKbXhTlU4U_Xslq8UidzW0jyJu871hP-fSrTJVYYFXFz3pezklVjC3iZmbnQJSAiNO9wAulYrbwblg/s1600/Digesto.jpg" height="320" width="204" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Digesto,</b> Carcosan
Sorcerer<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Armor Class 4, 6HD<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Powers and Attacks: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Digesto can fire Cosmic Radiation (Spectral Color: Ulfire)
from his bracers for 3D6 damage. The left bracer has 19 charges remaining, the
right bracer has 6. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bigmouth</i>:
Digesto’s chest face has infravison 60’ and the mouth has a 15’ prehensile
tongue. The tongue does no damage but can attempt to grapple an enemy, and if
successful will pull any human-size target toward the mouth which immediately
bites for 1d6 damage. A Bitten target must make a save vs. Poison or pass out.
On a critical hit, the victim is swallowed whole and Digesto immediately begins
digesting them, absorbing 1d4 HP per round (adding them to his own HP total)
until the victim is dead. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The round after the victim dies, Digesto barfs up an
animated skeleton with 2 hit dice, which serves him until it is destroyed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Digesto knows the following rituals:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Ninth Tracing of
the Measureless Void<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Chaining of the
Formless Aspect<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Transmutation of the
Slime God<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Ineluctable Name<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Digesto has recently escaped the planet Carcosa. His current
whereabouts are unknown. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-11732240435971573682014-04-10T10:20:00.004-07:002014-04-10T10:52:06.874-07:00Agents of A.P.E.<div class="MsoNormal">
The Dungeon Dozen showed up early this morning. A 20-minute
browse and a handful of dice gave me a pretty cool campaign pitch. Here are the
pages and I results used. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why The Ancient Empire Fell Pg 185</i> <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I rolled a 3: “Victims of first unexpected return of the
dinosaurs.” <span style="color: red;">The inclusion of the word “first” denotes a
kind of cyclic cataclysm. Good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Recent Edicts From The Usurper King Pg 131<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a 2: “Based on horrifying reports, construction to
begin on new giant anti-monster walls…” <span style="color: red;">DINOSAUR SIZED
WALLS?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Note: I almost cheated here
and took a 12 - Miss Usurper Pageant to be held, entrants chosen by public
beauty inspectors, because Public Beauty Inspectors is a great hook for an
adventuring group but OH WELL. It’s definitely showing up as an adventure hook
at least.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>Enemies of the City-state currently at large pg. 55<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An 11: “Ambassador from formerly secret subterranean kingdom: walked out of talks with human leadership in disgust, publicly declared human surface hegemony officially at an end.” <span style="color: red;">Pretty good opening credits sequence right there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Planets in the vicinity of the campaign world pg 121<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A 6. “Fortress world: leftover death star from some ancient
space war…” <span style="color: red;">Not sure what it means yet but it sounds
pretty groovy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gonzo class/race generator pg 71<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A 1, which gives me “Badgermen: the anti-hobbit, vicious and
relentless fighters.” <span style="color: red;">Because that’s adorable and also fuck
hobbits.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Campaign Pitch-elevating Amalgammator pg 18-19<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Roll on both tables and throw the results in the moshpit)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Table A:</b> Appendix N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A 1: “REH’s Kull: Serpent men intrigue, campaign-ending
catastrophe imminent.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Table B</b>: Pop Culture X Factor</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aaand another 1: “William Burroughs’ Naked Lunch: Interzone,
disturbing creatures spewing hallucinogenic ichor.” <span style="color: red;">Rolling
a literal snake eyes here was pretty awesome and tied the whole thing together.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Consolas;">Shake it up in
a cereal box and you get Dinosaurs Attack: the Medievaling ~ A breach of
etiquette during a visit from a Serpent Man dignitary kicks off a cold war
between the Underworld and the surface world. Rumors of sleeper agents infected
by psychic serpent venom incite paranoia. The Overlord invests every resource
in a literal Iron Curtain, unaware that the threat can rise up beneath his feet
at any time. Or perhaps he is already one of them? Meanwhile a secret
conspiracy within the government hopes to recapture the ancient orbital super
weapon left over from a previous administration, just in case the cold war
heats up. And there are Badgermen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
7 die rolls
and I’m ready to run this shit. In my eyes that might make <i>The Dungeon Dozen</i>
the most useable RPG book ever. It’s definitely one of the most entertaining— it’s packed with quality art and the writing is hilarious. It’s genuinely funny, as opposed to the sad kind of goofy you frequently get stuck with
when game writers try to have an “irreverent” voice or whatever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjteMDKT2D_ir2fWwXyRzdZXIjKC2DEJ0QWBSXCrQI2gUxWQlq2Do3dadhtf8dfbG4K_gZ85Pfqf1RHvWGERSpA1TTHVR9q7ZAuDFEh10iChEGyaGzxS2VBWCsfziG6xXNmIhWVUKtEdg/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjteMDKT2D_ir2fWwXyRzdZXIjKC2DEJ0QWBSXCrQI2gUxWQlq2Do3dadhtf8dfbG4K_gZ85Pfqf1RHvWGERSpA1TTHVR9q7ZAuDFEh10iChEGyaGzxS2VBWCsfziG6xXNmIhWVUKtEdg/s1600/photo.JPG" height="320" width="301" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">You could do a lot worse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Consolas;">Here’s a quote
for the back of the campaign guide I’m already planning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Consolas;">"Again the apes outreach themselves.
Never satisfied with the Eden that was our gift, they look to aspirations above
their station with heresies of reading and ironwork. But no more my egg
brothers! The sun has set on simian supremacy. The Great Herpetoid Crusade
rides, to smack down the Ape as we did in the days or our great grandlizards!
No more the world of Ape! To WAR!!!!"<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Consolas;">-Brax Bloodscale, High Ectotherm of the Herpetoid Crusade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/jason-sholtis/the-dungeon-dozen-hardcover/hardcover/product-21561536.html" target="_blank">JUST BUY THE BOOK ALREADY.</a> JASON PUTS HIS BRAIN UP FOR FREE EVERY WEEK SO DON'T BE A CHEAPASS. GET THE HARDCOVER.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-84770027346279114532014-03-13T00:11:00.000-07:002014-03-13T00:22:25.712-07:00"Imagine your character has been rotoscoped" - Phasic Vibes of Synthexia<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my favorite examples of the OSR Hive Mind in action
was the near-instantaneous creation of four hex maps by Gygaxian Democracy on
G+ last summer. I’m pretty sure I added a few hexes to each (I might’ve slept
on <i>The Kraal</i>) but the glory of this kind of endeavor is seeing your own voice
disappear into it. <a href="http://save.vs.totalpartykill.ca/grab-bag/hexenbracken/" target="_blank">They</a> <a href="http://save.vs.totalpartykill.ca/grab-bag/kraal/" target="_blank">can</a> <a href="http://save.vs.totalpartykill.ca/grab-bag/wastes/" target="_blank">be found</a> <a href="http://save.vs.totalpartykill.ca/grab-bag/synthexia/" target="_blank">here</a>. The final products contain more good
ideas and less dumb shit per capita than most products you pay money for. All of them
are good, but the one I want to talk about is <a href="http://swordfishislands.blogspot.com/search/label/Synthexia" target="_blank">Synthexia</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Synthexia is a spaced-out 80’s Filmation science fantasy
full of crystal swords and glitterdust. It feels like a bit of a red-headed
stepchild of the other three (maybe because of the subject matter, maybe
because the number of anomalies or artifacts in the extracted script leads me
to believe that people were playing loose with the rules). The reason I bring
it up is I’ve been reading a lot of Cosmic Marvel lately and I have the
(probably misguided) urge to place some of that flavor into the 2e game my
local crew started last Thursday. It took me a while to remember that this map
existed, but having found it I can say that I think it serves my purposes
pretty well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Synthexia is crumbling into
space. Ancient Synthexian sorceries (that is <i>really</i> fun to say aloud) struggle to hold the remains in place, but will not stop the ruined planet's decaying orbit eventually falling into a phasic sun. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also get the feeling that Synthexia is vaguely
flat (or at least no longer spherical), meaning it has an underside which probably never sees the light of that
phasic sun, and therefore every hex of this map has a reverse side. Nighthexia
or Contra-Synthexia is were the Drow live and where that song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E39p-0l11Kc&feature=kp" target="_blank">Night City by The Sword</a> takes place. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGiEaWnh9MFByfF6lKBCvZvAoOJQq3ePEmuLoQol2L9unsiyDSiVvnmAfBoTKD7lQxeIPKyF9pIXPawAX2g29xvwWk4lbscyPSX546ICTfR1dwc4WsCtHB7ovYeWyKtA3numq6_owuFA/s1600/dazzler24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGiEaWnh9MFByfF6lKBCvZvAoOJQq3ePEmuLoQol2L9unsiyDSiVvnmAfBoTKD7lQxeIPKyF9pIXPawAX2g29xvwWk4lbscyPSX546ICTfR1dwc4WsCtHB7ovYeWyKtA3numq6_owuFA/s1600/dazzler24.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Typical Synthexian Adventurers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are some entries I’d reskin, and a handful that don’t
appear to make sense, and over all I think I’d make a lot of the Sci fi stuff conform a little closer to Clarke’s Law. But in general I like it enough to
toss in <a href="http://ctrla.lt/comiclash/images/Micronauts_010_Vol1979_Marvel__ComiClash.jpg" target="_blank">Baron Karza</a> and the <a href="http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_small/0/8460/192122-29242-magus.png" target="_blank">Magus</a> from Adam Warlock and bend the rest to my
will. It's also a good home for ideas cribbed from that sixty dollar Numenera hardback I bought that one time I wandered into <a href="http://www.ggportland.com/" target="_blank">Guardian Games</a> so stoned that I paid sixty dollars for a Numenera hardback.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2e seems pretty perfectly suited for this. It scraped in
before the end of the decade (published in the final days of <i>Thundercats</i> and <i>Jem and the Holograms</i>, according to cyberspace). And I mean it’s the Spelljammer
edition so it’s not like 2e is a stranger to some <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSMeUPFjQHc&feature=kp" target="_blank">Erasure-level fantasybullshit.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-3061631614538266942014-03-08T05:08:00.004-08:002014-03-08T06:11:40.010-08:00Wandering eyes: A review of DCC RPG Module #81The best way for me to review the latest DCC RPG module
“#81: The One Who Watches From Below “ is to just mention that #6 on the random
encounter table is “Laser Harpies”. If that’s not enough, then you should know
that this table also includes vat-grown Halfling hybrids, Eye Slime, and a
Double Cockatrice (the description of which actually includes the sentence “<i>The only thing more fearsome than a
Cockatrice is a Double Cockatrice.</i>”)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If that somehow isn’t enough information for you to make an
informed decision on this purchase then A) reeeeally? and B) okay, fine, here’s
a real review:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6uL1N9ZO7tq9dLkaKBJQ3E_yKdIM6_8E51eAlXtt4rPPJnIfVYqRgpNRiMXb87rt7Tn6bTBwPTsbhkrHX06RQG_lhIv3mIrQ3pfe6Afj3Gaad1SD5_fUTQPABkrIpAL6mFUUsPce8A/s1600/OneWhoWatchesCover700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd6uL1N9ZO7tq9dLkaKBJQ3E_yKdIM6_8E51eAlXtt4rPPJnIfVYqRgpNRiMXb87rt7Tn6bTBwPTsbhkrHX06RQG_lhIv3mIrQ3pfe6Afj3Gaad1SD5_fUTQPABkrIpAL6mFUUsPce8A/s1600/OneWhoWatchesCover700.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The One Who Watches
From Below</i> is an adventure for 6-8 1<sup>st</sup> level characters. It takes
place in a mystical cave where curious seekers go to zone out on the herbals
and receive prophetic dreams in exchange for a sacrifice of coin and gem. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But where does all the money go? Xenu?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adventure hooks are offered, but you shouldn’t have too much
trouble working with that setup. The mention of a cave full of unconscious
people and their valuables should be enough to awaken the mystical and/or
larcenous curiosity of any DCC RPG PC worthy of the acronym. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The area itself consists of four levels: the dreaming cave,
a temple dedicated to the Elder God who makes those prophetic dreams possible,
a laboratory where vat-grown experiments are created to assist in the running
of the complex, and an Undertemple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Walls Have Eyes.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The twist that makes this adventure memorable is a
particularly gnarly curse called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Curse of the Emerald Eye</i>. Basically, it causes the afflicted to fall into a
coma while their eyes (and consciousness) separate from their body and are free
to wander the map, merging with and moving along the floors, walls and ceiling
in a manner familiar to anyone who’s played <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds</i>. Think of it as having your
character turned into a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wizard Eye</i>
spell, but along a two-dimensional vector more like a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Magic Mouth</i>. You can even move them onto the bodies of nonsentients
like rats and spiders, if you want to take your fantasy body horror to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cronenberg</i> status. The lower levels of
the map are filled with these eyes, and that is gross and great.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cursed characters lack a physical mouth and therefore it’s
suggested that the player finds alternate ways to communicate (via blinks and
other eye movements). The inside cover even includes a cutout that can be used
to cover the player’s face like a reverse domino mask, which gives this
adventure the dual distinction of being the only module I’ve read that
references the cutout mask gimmick from old Frankenberry boxes, and also the
only one where getting a papercut on your eyeball is part of the peril.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, that’s all pretty far out. And it’s not something I’ve
ever seen before. So I like it. On the other hand, at least one character kinda
needs to get the curse for this module to work. In fact, it relies <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so</i> much on the curse working that it
provides a way to force it on at least one PC. I can’t help but see that as a
player fucker. And though it’s a good-natured one, it’s still a questionable
design choice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s because there’s a real possibility the curse will
overstay its welcome. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Remember that time
my dude was cursed and spent the session being a pair of traveling eyeballs?”</i>
is a good gaming memory, whereas <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Remember
those four sessions where I wanted to play D&D and wasn’t allowed to talk
during the game because I was stuck being a stupid pair of eyeballs and it
sucked?”</i> is less of one. The module addresses this, but the solution (just
skip to the end) feels a bit hacky to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s a room where the curse can be lifted, but it seems
to me it might be better to call the curse something like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Renegade Eye Sickness”</i> or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Ocular
Betrayal Syndrome”</i> and just make it last for X number of turns. Doing so,
however, would blunt the terror that a PC’s eyes might become trapped here
forever amongst a thousand other pairs of eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a judge, and very likely as a player, your enjoyment of
this module will depend on which side of the teeter-totter you come down on.
While I still chafe at forcing the curse on a player, I do think the mechanic
itself is pretty cool and would want to find a way to make it work without
dragging it out over multiple sessions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apart from the curse, the module itself is flavorful and
features some fun enemies. The guy on the cover makes an appearance, as does
the aforementioned Elder God (Remember, 1<sup>st</sup> level adventurers, if
you encounter an Elder God, guild protocol dictates that you RUN THE FUCK AWAY).
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Incidentally, page 17 says that the Vault
of Eyes contains a +1 Vampirebane longsword named <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sparklefang”</i> but I crossed that shit out immediately. So should
you. Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The One Who Watches From Below</i> really pulses with a primal Appendix
N vibe, while still feeling fresh and original. It’s like someone handed a kid
all the green crayons and asked him to write a story for <i>Weird Tales</i>. I like it
a lot, despite my misgivings about how the curse is dealt with. Even if my
description of the curse bums you out, I’d still encourage you to give this one
a shot. The second wave of DCC RPG adventures seems to be further distinguishing
the game as a lurid, cosmic Swords & Sorcery game, and this one is no exception.
It’s gross and weird and full of slime that’s okay with me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Plus, this is a module that actually contains the sentence <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Drinking fetus water has no ill effects and
actually promotes healthy hair and fingernail growth”</i>. That’s probably worth
six of the ten bucks I paid for it right there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-52604599077535319712014-02-21T23:05:00.001-08:002014-02-21T23:16:19.968-08:00Lewis & Clark in the UnderdarkMy group hasn’t been able to play for a few months. Prior to
that, we hadn’t really been in a strong campaign mode, just playing one-offs
here and there using the Pathfinder Beginner’s Box, DCCRPG, and the playtest
pack for 5e.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, it’s time to grow up and get serious about this wizard
crap. We’re starting again in a couple of weeks, hopefully a bit more focused
this time. I wrote up a couple pitches to
see where the players' interests lie. One idea that seemed likely to bear fruit is an
exploration/survival hexcrawl in a vast wilderness. I think I described it as
“Oregon Trail with dragons” or somesuch.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In considering it further, I also had an idea that maybe I’d
set the unexplored wilderness underground. The PCs would play explorers funded
by a surface kingdom, chartered to explore the River Crepuscular and it’s major
tributaries, and to transport materials needed to build one half of a linked
teleportation gate to be used by future expeditions. Their guide swears that
somewhere in the Land of Always Night hangs <a href="http://giantevilwizard.blogspot.com/2012/03/sun-that-never-sets.html" target="_blank">a sun that never sets</a>. The
hirelings tell tales of a New World below called Agartha, a strange <i>Prester
John</i>-like kingdom of jeweled streets and magical beasts. Then again, if
hirelings could be trusted we wouldn’t have to pay them to keep them from
cutting our throats as we sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, maybe I’m over complicating it and “Oregon Trail with
Dragons” is cool enough. I picked up <i>Torchbearer</i> a few weeks ago and though I'm not sold on the <i>Burning Wheel</i> system, I really
like the harsh take on the survival aspect of adventuring. D&D has moved
away from that because tracking your waterskin isn’t “epic” or whatever, but
anyone who thinks survival isn’t epic needs to revisit fucking <i>Predator</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-80164183335058477602013-11-05T16:11:00.002-08:002013-11-05T16:11:21.191-08:00That's weirdI made a post on <a href="http://americanbarbarica.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">American Barbarica</a>. That hasn't happened in years.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-19971693977446680422013-10-28T15:39:00.001-07:002013-10-29T12:05:57.297-07:00The Blazing World<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Acheron is a barbaric science fantasy setting based on reading but never actually getting to play </span><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Dark Sun</i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> back when it came out. I just started a regular campaign set in WRESTLEVANIA (excatly what it sounds like) but this is the kid of BS I think about running on the side. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Some of these names have appeared before in my chronically half-assed blogging career. Here are a few facts and rumors:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Tyrant Sun used to be Lawful until the Anti-Solar League
corrupted it with their lies. Now it is a phasic nuclear chaos that hates us all. An
illegal society of lawful Clerics is trying to build it an artificial heart in
the hopes that it will love us again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is no rain. All water comes from a subsurface glacier
called Gammafrost. This has given rise to a vast, incomprehensibly detailed
system of Slaves-for-Water trading between the city-states of the surface and the
subterranean cities of the Anti-Solar League. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">At one point there were thirteen Sorcerer Kings, but war has
reduced their number to seven; four dwell on the surface, three underground.
All of them are complete dicks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Sorcerer Kings got where they are in life by killing
gods. Slavery and genocide aren’t a big deal once you start slaying gods.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The caustic winds and mutagenic fields of the Radium Desert are spawned
by the decaying corpse of a dead god eternally decomposing at its center.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The surface is lousy with saurian creatures until nightfall.
Then the undead hordes of the Ghul Khanate come out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Last Forest is an oddly noble name for what is actually
a toxic, fungus-infested shithole. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is a forested moon. Weird things live on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is a slave legend of a Free City but no living slave seems to know where it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Metal is rare and mostly salvaged from <a href="http://giantevilwizard.blogspot.com/2013/02/d12-things-what-just-fell-out-of.html" target="_blank">the orbital rustbelt</a>. Goblins are the dominant force in salvage and metalsmithing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Apart from the obvious Dark Sun inspirations, the principle
influences at work are Bronze Age comics, Johnny Ryan's <i>Prison Pit</i>, Professional Wrestling, Metal, and a <i>Troma</i>-sized helping of gore, potty humor, and amateurism.</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-45575370521040329062013-06-25T17:51:00.001-07:002013-06-25T17:51:40.600-07:00Post-Apocalyptic Stress Disorder: a spoiler-free mini-review of The Last of Us.<br />
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<i>The Last of Us</i> is a
really great video game about post-pandemic America. It’s also a perfectly written
story about being a man —one that makes good on promises that stories like <i>The Walking Dead</i> or the film adaptation
of <i>The Road</i> failed to keep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Audiences have come to accept Hollywood’s reliance on
spectacle to obscure its own mediocrity. And because of that, stories this engaging
are too hard to come by. We find ourselves in a near-constant state of having
to mentally fix stories in order to love them.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In response, <i>The Last
of Us</i> is almost anti-epic. Its apocalyptic themes are really just set
dressing for a small, visceral, very human story. The questions it poses are
complex and it understands that you’re smart enough to answer them for
yourself. And the merciless brutality of the world it depicts confirms every
suspicion that the minutia of life in the Western world might be just that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t have children, and it would be preposterous for me
to claim that a PS3 could provide any real sense of what paternity must be
like. That said, last night I awoke suddenly from an exhausted sleep, and in a
moment so elusive that only its absurdity prevented it passing from my mind, I
wanted to check on Ellie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-81533187828235187112013-03-05T09:38:00.001-08:002013-03-05T09:38:13.156-08:00Brought to you by the Yummy Gorgon Snack Food Company
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Izr3Cidaz1M?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">As a clone, your
genetic material is versatile enough to make biological upgrades fun and easy!
Insert credits and let's get started.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: right; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">-instruction panel, Chemi-Cola vending machine.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Chemi-Cola is a DNA-enhancing snack drink made by the Yummy Gorgon
Snack Food Company, a subsidiary of Alamo Industries. The drink is
effervescent, refreshing, and mutation inducing. It comes in ten flavors, all
of which are quite popular among blue-collar clones. The effects of a ten-ounce
last 1d6 turns.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Let's see what's on the menu:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Tri-clops:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"> A third eye sprouts from the forehead, providing 60’ Infravision.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Extra arm:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"> Allows an additional attack every 1.5 rounds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Digestive upgrade:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"> Any organic matter (including corpses) can be
safely consumed. Also provides a +2 bonus vs. Poison.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Emergency Cardiac System:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"> An additional heart grows inside your bod. If
you’re reduced to zero hitpoints while this chemical is in effect, your backup
heart comes online for 1d6 emergency hit points.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Chest Face: </span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Your head collapses into your bod. Meanwhile you
grow a giant face across your chest, preventing most decapitation situations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Clobberin’ Time: </span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Your skin hardens into calcified dermal plates.
+2 to AC, -2 to DEX.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Iron Lung:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"> You can close your lungs against vacuum or toxic atmos. You only need
to breath once per turn as long as you don’t speak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Barf Bag: </span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Allows you to projective vomit 1d3 times. The ten foot, cone-shaped
blast has the same attack properties as Green Slime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Brutal Sex Organ: </span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">What it says on the can. No mechanical effect.
More of a role playing thing, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Rubber Neck: </span></i></b><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Your bod becomes stretchy and pliant, and you can
squeeze through tiny spaces as if you were 1/4<sup>th</sup> your body size.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Note: repeated
exposure to Chemi-Cola is known to produce addiction, insanity, and permanent
mutation. Please drink responsibly. Not suitable for children under 3.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-69089477990326983152013-03-04T09:30:00.002-08:002013-03-04T11:39:50.522-08:00The Tears of a Clone<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><b>Vat Goon</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Requirements: INT and CHA cannot exceed 10<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Prime requisite: STR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Hit Die: 1d8<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Welcome! You and your
vat brothers are the property of Alamo Industries, Inc. Our award winning
proprietary genetic recipe, as well as this brief training video, will prepare
YOU for an exciting career of hard labor under harsh planetary conditions.
We’ve also supplied you with a diminished prefrontal cortex to relieve you of
complex burdens such as moral decision-making or feelings of existential worry.
Happy birthday!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">-orientation video, Alamo Industries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Vat
clones (often called Goons) fight and save as Fighting Men. They have large
simian frames and sloping foreheads. Their dense musculature and heavy skeletal
frames give them a +1 bonus to unarmed combat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Goons
are always male, and are decanted in groups of nine. They are bred for
unfailing loyalty to their corporate sponsors, but recent events (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">i.e. a full-scale galactic apocalypse</i>)
leaves them without purpose. Thus, many take up the adventurer lifestyle either
out of boredom or the need to pay for chems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">Cloning
is expensive, thus the corporations responsible for their production usually
install a recovery protocol in their DNA hack. Any time a Goon PC is killed,
the nearest clone brother will be alerted to take his place and carry out any
remaining assignment. The new clone is telepathically alerted to the location
of the corpse and will show up by the next game session.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;">When
the new clone arrives, randomly choose an attribute (using a d6) and reroll it.
If you end up breaking the INT or CHA requirements, your new clone is free to
choose another career path like Science Priest or whatever.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirdqdnGHpOABsuYreR02VX2TtaWdHsl0eME0-zGES7YUdKjSWdCDF4O1O5451yy7jyELaUHGyzLzOHyuipDfQFo7PzTV5xmSTBolOyaaFIa-e2hyo3Y0HqnQ9Mb2qeoBHsbjzF6-DoWg/s1600/spaceman_1bnr.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirdqdnGHpOABsuYreR02VX2TtaWdHsl0eME0-zGES7YUdKjSWdCDF4O1O5451yy7jyELaUHGyzLzOHyuipDfQFo7PzTV5xmSTBolOyaaFIa-e2hyo3Y0HqnQ9Mb2qeoBHsbjzF6-DoWg/s320/spaceman_1bnr.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier; mso-bidi-font-family: Courier;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469563978551069798.post-5075891994191577382013-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:002013-02-28T13:37:35.215-08:00Hex Descriptions for a Map Undrawn.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRpIgltvrXCOZ1ztg6ONxBnRrCS8F5RxHrTPDeiXEQhwT4vbNa-LveGM_ET_eyXxwt-M09W11UCObCKzdQWDEKG4bAUp6E1nsnpRUcRgfqeZh9n0cLJyNig7hwyHPeT2FW2GJVpJrSvA/s1600/EoFP_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRpIgltvrXCOZ1ztg6ONxBnRrCS8F5RxHrTPDeiXEQhwT4vbNa-LveGM_ET_eyXxwt-M09W11UCObCKzdQWDEKG4bAUp6E1nsnpRUcRgfqeZh9n0cLJyNig7hwyHPeT2FW2GJVpJrSvA/s320/EoFP_4.jpg" width="204" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
Hex XXXX: gene bandit hideout. This gang of 66 clone brothers possess bad attitudes, primitive weapons, and a bad case of genetic drift. They're led by The First Hatched, a 6HD puddle of DNA with psionic abilities and a vaguely human face.</div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
Hex XXXX: Phasic Swamp. A brood of Pennangalans dwelling amongst the giant Mangroves are said to possess an IOUN stone.</div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
Hex XXXX: Radium desert. Hidden deep in this red waste are several entrances to a vast fungal arcology thriving beneath the planetary surface. However, roving clouds of sapient nano-pollen make finding them difficult.</div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Courier;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00862556389958594140noreply@blogger.com0